FORGIVENESS : What does it mean when you forgive someone?

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:13







What does it mean to forgive someone? In my personal experience, in order to forgive I have to examine what the exact nature of the offense was. It's usually over some argument, a heated discussion that took place in person, or over the telephone. Sometimes it's another person's actions like stealing, causing physical harm, name calling or some other argument. Family quarrels are the most common. 9 of 10 arguments are caused by some disagreement which leads to hastily actions, in other words "The Heat Of Passion" are committed without the person actually meaning it.







In a situation of mine that happened about 13 years ago I have looked back and realized how my alcoholic mind (When I was in denial) played a part. At the time of occurrence I was not thinking to clear, ONLY after I committed the action than I realize I should of "bit my tongue." As I reflect on it today, I was in the wrong totally. Why? I realized what the person( My close friend) was actually trying to say to me based on my own moral values I grew up on as a Catholic.(See Personal Testimony blog entry.) What I saw at that moment was a "stab in the back " a violation of TRUST ( The kind of Trust where You can depend on each other to save each other lives.) It was unreal, uncanny, and a something I REGRET EVER DOING. This is what I have to live with everyday of my life. I Pray that I may be forgiven someday. I learned the hard way that there are consequences and repercussions for the actions I took that day. The LORD Has forgiven me; I know I am a different person now than I was back then. To Forgive a person is like a burden lifted off your shoulders, living without guilt, fear and shame. I have moved on from this experience, I guess what really concerns me is how the other person involved lives their life seeing the frustration, never smiling and living in fear. I pray for this formal friend every day so that God's loving Grace may be granted over this matter. I tried to offer amends, that's all I can do. I consider the "event"; the disagreement a closed matter.

2 Timothy 2:22-26

"Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will."





Dwelling on the past is unhealthy and Not wise. I find comfort in the our LORD through volunteering, studying the bible in small groups, attending church service, and of course CELEBRATE RECOVERY, the place to be on Wednesday nights. Yes Celebrate Recovery where lives are changed. It has changed my ways of thinking for the better and it still continues.

YES I MUST CONTINUE WITH CELEBRATE RECOVERY AND PRESS ON STAYING SOBER!

1 Timothy 1 : 15-16

"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life."

I know the Lord has forgiven me because I forgave one my closest friends I once knew from college.

James 5:16

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

God Bless To All
Amen!

My Personal Testimony... Where I started, Where I came from, and Where I am going.

My vacation came and gone, including the recent Men's retreat at Mt. Harmon. Thanks To Pastor John Bruce for leading the group. Personal testimonies, what are they? Personal Testimonies is a autobiography of the way the person was before receiving Christ into his or her life and how their life has changed after receiving Christ into their life.

My life has many twist, I just completed my short testimony, a mini story in a chronological order. I lost a very sincere friend to my alcoholism, mainly because I was blind to the disease, I WAS IN DENIAL! My lost did not stop their, I lost my marriage and made a fool of myself. I also lost out on my relationship with my two children.

If you have faith in Christ like I do, relationships can be restored, People who were once good friends can start speaking to each other, it's a matter of timing, God's Timing. We Just have to pray and perhaps someday things will happen.

I came to Creekside Church to find God, to get reconnected to my faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, This is the TRUTH. I met new people, and I joined a small group, thanks to Bob Knoll. What I did not realize was my PAST. (Excluding the name for the obvious reasons here), for me to walk away, run away, stop attending is saying I run away from my problems. I decided to stay regardless what happens. My past does not acknowledge my existence which got me thinking real hard on What kind of psychological damage did I cause?, what Other damages in this person's life I may have contributed? So I soul searched and I realized how messed up I was. I Joined Celebrate Recovery to examine my life further... Today at post time is DAY 116 of my sobriety. I pray for a day of reconciliation, someday: HERE IS MY TESTIMONY:


My name is Tim; I am a believer in Jesus Christ and a child of God who struggles with alcoholism, major depression, and anger. Today is day __###_ of my sobriety.

I am the youngest child of a family of four with one brother and two sisters. I was raised a Roman Catholic and I started drinking alcohol at the age of 16. Even though I learned to drink responsibly, I never thought alcohol would be a problem.

I was raised and lived by a strict of Catholic/ Christian moral values respecting marriage relationships and established boundaries. I learned that a gentleman never physically harms a female.

As I applied my moral values to my everyday life I met new people, new ideas, eventually met new friends while in college.

I met my wife Stephanie, we were married of January 1992 and we raised a family. We both drank alcohol to relieve stress from our jobs. The marriage problems developed caused by finances, debts we owned and lack of quality time together. I started to stay out late after work drinking my problems away. My mind started to drift away loosing site of those moral values I protected so well, eventually my drinking affected my marital relations with Stephanie that led to my infidelity, I became unfaithful.

My reputation was damaged, I became guilty, angry and depressed. The depression caused me to drink; I drank to cure the depression. Do you see the dilemma? I started to lose friends. I became angry and lost my faith in God. Stephanie and I divorced in 1998.

In 2003 I hit “Rock Bottom” by walking that suicidal path. I found help, my drinking did not stop however and my faith in God was lost.

I found Creekside Community Church seeking God. The pastor’s sermons made me think who I am. So I kept coming Sunday after Sunday to learn more, joined a small group met new people, however my past troubles kept haunting me. That’s when I joined Celebrate Recovery. Celebrate recovery open the door to reconnect my faith in God and to accept Jesus Christ into my life. Where I can confess my sins, the terror and harm I caused to people from my addiction to alcohol without being judged or looked down upon, make amends to those people who I harmed and able to forgive those people who offended me.

Thanks And God Bless!!

THE WARNING SIGNS: The Art Of Helping- What to say and do When Someone Is Hurting. PART TWO

Looking back in the last 15 to 20 years of my life, I can identify areas where I failed, where I succeeded, and areas where I made a difference to some peoples lives. When I worked at Southland Mall in private security I was exposed to a lot of stuff involving just about anything imaginable. There were the shop lifters, the drunk and disorderly, the gang fights, and the domestic violence. There is one particular scenario that happened on JULY 24, 1994 a Sunday afternoon at 2:00 PM. Why was this date remembered? Imagine walking into a room unknowing to you a situation that happened that you had no control over, an event that you never asked for, and you never wanted. It's like asking Where were you when JFK was shot?



On the above date and time as mentioned I was patrolling the South side of the Mall parking lot minding my own business. Working in private security requires some fast thinking, protection of life and property and knowing what's normal looking and what's not, including the people who worked there. I observed a person who normally does not work on Sundays, and that's when it happened. My "Gut Feeling" told me to go over there and say hi to this person, this person I shall call "Cathy." "Cathy" A married woman, with a 9 y/o son at the time and only knew Cathy for 5 years. Other than that there not much more I know about Cathy other than the rumors, in my line of work you do not contribute to the rumor mill.



Curious to find out what was up, Why she was there on Sunday, I approached to say hi. Her response was like a bad dream. Cathy told me her husband threatened her with a divorce. Asking her how she felt? Starting from the top of her face and looking into her eyes she became beet red, turning into jello. The tears pouring out of eyes like water flowing. Obviously she was extreme emotionally distressed about it!!! She literally became a part on me, Not the Cathy I know!!





WHAT DO YOU DO? DO YOU KNOW WHAT TO SAY? WHAT DO I DO? THIS IS WHAT I DID AND THIS IS WHAT I SAID!!



First I got control of Cathy, second I asked Cathy to hold my hand, She started to shake and she was in an emotional turmoil all she wanted was to cry. I told her "To let it all out and when your ready to talk raise your head up."

I asked her specifically what she do if your husband does file for divorce, and that's when I knew I was in trouble when she replied " I will kill myself."( WARNING: WHEN SOMEONE YOU KNOW EXPRESSES SUICIDE AND YOU BELIEVE IF HE OR SHE HAS THE MEANS TO DO IT, STOP AND CALL 911!! Don't mess around and don't take chances!!)

When she utter those words She started to cry hysterically with tears drenching my uniform. NOT A PRETTY SITE!

I proceed to ask a series of questions based what I learned from a Psychology class,
1 Provide empathy, 2. Ask why? 3, Ask How or ask if they have a plan? 4 What stopping them? This questions raises doubt, You take what they say and you turn the table to make an argument over to CHOOSE LIFE rather than DEATH. 5 DON'T make promises, 6. In confidence get their Family involved. 7. Encourage them to seek professional help!! 8. Take the threat SERIOUSLY Do not ignore them!

With Cathy, It just took me under 20 minutes for her to go from a emotional breakdown to well enough for her to return work. Not only Did I encourage her to seek professional help but to make an appointment to see a Catholic Priest at her parish. Lastly I obtained a phone number where she was going after work and I gave a deadline to call my wife( not me) but my wife. ( You never want to get mixed up in someones marriage problem) and If I didn't hear back by the deadline I was going to start calling from her parents to her husband and everyone in between till find out where she was, NOT TO MENTION THE MARRIAGE PROBLEM, BUT for her SAFETY, AND I Meant It!! The Good News, She did exactly everything I told her to do.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Expect the Unexpected, Give the person choices. In Crisis intervention you are their life line, They have the choice. I told Cathy there was two ways we can go about it I can call 911 and you can go to the hospital, OR You can do it yourself without the "Circus." Which one do you want?

I don't recommend the tactics I used to anyone, I did What I can do based on how well I knew Cathy and her Personal circumstances, everyone does not respond the same way as Cathy did. If you ever find yourself in a similar position, Ask God To send The Holy Spirit and Pray to give you strength. Do the follow ups short and to the point by not overextending your welcome. IT WAS A HAPPY ENDING!! :) :) :) I SAVED A LIFE THAT DAY AND PERSONALLY THANK OUR LORD FOR ASSISTING ME!!