OVERCOMING FEAR: IN the LORD'S Eyes

Having difficulty of overcoming fear?

1 John 4:18

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect love."

Hebrews 13:6

"So we say with confidence " The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

Alcoholism is a disease. When I drank, I drank to relieve stress! The consequence of my drinking I became a different person. A person that the people so close to me became fearful, and terrified. WHAT HAVE I DONE?

TODAY, (8/29/2008) is day 66 of my sobriety. I have overcome my fear by praying to the Lord Jesus Christ to Forgive my sins who I have done wrong, I prayed to the Holy Spirit to Give me strength.

After I admitted I was alcoholic, I became fearful for ALL the Wrongs, All the shame, all the embarrassing things and SERIOUS Hurts I caused because of my drinking. Yes, I was afraid. I was afraid from the people I caused Harm, especially "Whitney." I WAS TOTALLY WRONG!! AND, I PAID THE PRICE!!!

FIRST I had to Forgive myself, and ask God for his forgiveness!!

Second, I had examine the Hurt I caused to people, and Pray for them.

Third, I forgave the people who hurt me.

I ask You To Pray for me on my sobriety and recovery.

To the people I caused harm and damaged relationships, I ask for your forgiveness. I ask to make amends wherever possible. Thank You LORD for this Day 66 of my sobriety.

Tim

LIFE CHANGES / MY ALCOHOL ADDICTION PART 2

Psalm 107:13-14

"Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress.
He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains."









In part one I talked about how my addiction of alcohol got started, how long it continued, made friends, raised my family, and then it came all crashing down at once. I lost it all! I lived in denial from this problem for a number of years, living a life of dishonesty, isolation, and feeling depressed. I lost my closest friends, It seemed I was alone in the world. My relationship with GOD? I did not think I had one.



I continued to live in denial, going through cycles of depression, drinking, and whatever else. At one time I worked two full time jobs, instead of saving for the future I would waste it away by falling into debt, and it seemed my life would not mount into anything. I was in a SERIOUS PROBLEM OF ADDICTION, HANG UPS ABOUT "WHITNEY", AND ANGER. This was not good, not good at all!! Something had to be done.



In 2003, I moved to Henderson, Nevada. I took transfers from both jobs. I thought that just maybe all my problems would be left in California. The reality was that I still had the addiction, the hang ups, and worst was the cycles of serious depression. I came back to California and I hit "ROCK BOTTOM" by walking that suicidal path!!! The road to a physical DEATH. NOW I REALLY REALLY NEEDED HELP!! My other side fighting back that suicidal path was reaching to a friend to get me that help! My friend Julie who I met working at Southland Mall in 1989 SAVED ME. She gave me a hug and she told me she loved me more than I will ever know as a friend. DID GOD HAVE A HAND IN THIS??



I recovered, and my LIFE continued, along with, you guessed it, Alcoholism, hang ups. I needed to go back to church and get connected to my faith in God, but Where?



I searched the Internet. Since I worked At a Place called Creekside Shopping Center, I found Creekside Community Church in San Leandro, Ca. SO I went And met the pastor, and right away made a connection. The pastor's sermons made me think. It made me for once think who I am, and I FOUND GOD'S PRESENCE WORKING.



THIS IS WHERE GOD WANTED ME. I FOUND CELEBRATE RECOVERY! (http://www.celebraterecovery.com/) (AS of Sat 8/23/08, I been sober for 60 days and counting.)

THANK YOU LORD GOD! Thank You for showing me the way.



( TO Whom ever I have Offended, caused you serious hurt by my addiction to alcohol, I apologize!! I ask for your Forgiveness, and offer to make amends. I have no excuses and I only blame myself for my actions dictated by my addictions. I PRAY FOR YOUR RECOVERY). Tim

LIFE CHANGES / MY ALCOHOL ADDICTION Part 1

Romans 12:2

"Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -His good, pleasing and perfect will."

Proverbs 20:1

"Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler; whoever is led astray by them is not wise."

Have you ever experienced Life changing event? Have you ever been confined, trapped or led astray by someone? (That someone being Alcohol.)

If you answered yes to both of these questions, Please read on.

Alcoholism defined as 1: continued excessive or compulsive use of alcoholic drinks.

I will spare you the entire life story. I started drinking when I was 16 years old, a sophomore in High School. The drinking continued through the end High School and into the college years. Once in college I met a lot of new friends. I abused Alcohol even more, it made me happy and it felt good.

While in College I met a life long friend her name was 'Whitney." I made an impression on Whitney when a verbal argument broke out in the cafeteria. I intervened on her behalf when "The creep" from the middle east had a chair over his head and was about to hit "Whitney" over her head with it. That single act---- Was the Foundation to the friendship, something I will never forget and would do it again In a heart beat if I ever saw that kind of violence on a female again. (that happened 20 years ago.)

Despite my drinking, "Whitney", She was a true friend, a very kind person with people skills. She was always there for me and I was there for her.

As the years past, I married my wife Stephanie and raised a family. Things went okay at first. I drank, and drank, marriage problems developed between Stephanie and I. I became angry, and developed a temper. 1994 seemed to be the year it all came crashing down. The Security job was stressful. I talked three of my friends out of a suicidal crisis, NOT FUN!!:( I was drained from the experience.) I started to lose contact with God, I became depressed, angry, and was drinking more than ever.

The following year, 1995. That's when I lost all my friends to alcohol. I was the most feared person starting with "Whitney" followed by my wife, my children, and whoever else. This "Someone" named alcohol ruined my life, my reputation, placed distrust among family and friends. This was all my fault, I am the blame for allowing it to happen AND allowing it to continue to happen.

IN MY NEXT BLOG I WILL SHARE WHAT I DID TO CORRECT IT.

{TO WHOM EVER READS THIS. I Would I like to offer amends to anyone I have seriously offended because of my anger caused by my alcoholism. I have no excuse for my actions. I offer forgiveness to anyone who has offended me.}

Tim